Y Thursday, July 21, 2005
Shitting tired today. So many things happen man. Yesterday was the worse. How can this kinda thing be happening. Argh. How much I dont want that to happen lorhz. Pui. I dont want this to happen. But. Everything started with that words. Haix. I wrote a 2 page letter. ONCE. Never thought that i would write so much today. Hmmph. Wasnt in a mood at all. TOTALLY. I dont even have the mood to study man. All I was doing was dreaming and dreaming. I wanted to break into pieces. I wanted to let out all my emotion. I wanted to talk to u just now after recess. But my confidence and everything was gone. I was heartbroken. I dint even said a " hi " or a " bye ". I just walked past you. Climb a little staircase. Kick the staircase. And wonder. Damn it. Why. I couldnt talk to you. Why I couldnt bring myself to talk to you. The whole day. My face. Was so blackish. Totally NO mood for everything. Punched the board. As usual. Then. Something badd happen. Im not very sure abt it. But i know everything wronged jean. DAMN. I DONT LIKE IT AT ALL. WTF. Gerald. You malu urself. People not even finding u. Yet u ask people get lost. FUCK. People treat u bad. But they still take u as a friend. U LOVE HER B4 YET U STILL SAY THIS KINDA WORDS. I wonder. are you a man or something. I was pissed. Until I kick the table. Got scolded by the relief teacher. I dint care at all. I DONT EVEN GIVE ANY SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING. Mad. Mad. Mad. I just dont wanna beat anybody up only. Dont force me. I hate this.
You dont care about things. I can understand. I bet that guy dint tell u that he still loves u rite. Hmmph. I asked him to continue. Dont leave you. AM I DUMB OR WAD. U said im " noble ". But i think myself as dumb. I dunno why. Heart doesnt ache so much. But now. It aches like.. Haix. Break it la. Im really sick. Is committing suicide good? Everybody thinking about that. I would haf long did that man. Shit yah. =) Hmmph. The chat log. KILLS ME. Lolz. Everyone should be alright bahx. Haiyo. Just one day. Everything had a drastic change. Im tired. My health is reaching its maximum. Im weak nowadays. Yesterdae was the day we shld be talking on phone. Not a day for quarrelling. I dint want to quarrel. I wanted to let u know how i feel. Guess i was a little over. Im sorry.