how much i want to tell you that i love you. (:

Y Thursday, October 27, 2005

very moodless today.
dont know why.
shall not post much.
i dint know the reason.
i dont want to know the reason.
are you dropping?
no.
i dont think so.
my problem.
nobody can settle.
i dont want to share out my burdens.
im so sick of it.
why is my life abit like this.
nevermind.
im used to this bah.
i dont want to see but i kept seeing.
not happy but cant do anything.
im so bloody confused.
things happening to me is strange.
im getting abit step le.
i dont want.
forget it.
not dying hair not piercing.
i want back the old me.
is stress pushing me hard?
i dont know.

people said i blog short.
shall blog long now.
hmm.
what i can do now?
i hated to avoid.
nothing i could do to talk to u.
i just cant talk to u.
im afraid.
very afraid things cropped up.
i usually dared to talk to u.
why because of now.
i cant.
i dunno.
dont want to think anymore.
i think now.
i think later.
it will still be the same.
im sick of this.
i everyday think so much.
acting nothing inside me.
act like i enjoyed life.
act like nothing happen.

mr kamath told me.
my attitude has to change.
i will change.
i promise.
next year will be different i guess.
now i dont strive.
i will strive next year.

temperature taking tml.
yc's chalet?
i dont know.
am i invited?
im still curious?
Lolz.
hope i can go too.
nights.
dont want post le.=/

Nlyg.<3

7:22 PM

Y Monday, October 24, 2005

Nlyg.<3

8:14 PM

Nlyg.<3

8:11 PM

Hmm..
Since got people ask me post.
I shall post a very long one bah.
Since i've not updated it for so long.
Firstly.
I shall talk about yesterday. =)

What to start?
I went chalet yesterdae.
Knew quite a lot of people le.
Lolz.
I thought I was an extra there.
Cuz they were all their relatives.
But they treated me as one of them.
=)
Touched.
Thank You so much for the food.
Ate quite a lot yesterdae.
Even though i was sick yesterdae.
But seriously thanks for the food yesterdae.
Happy Birthday Clement.
25 already.
=/

Now.
Its about me and you.
You wanted me to treat you more importantly.
But do u think i can?
Its like.
I wanted to talk to you.
But looking afar laughing with your love.
I really no mood to talk to you.
I avoid you in real life.
I admit.
But so?
Every second now and then im bleeding.
I not trying to say that im leaving u or wad.
Its just that my presence may spoil the whole thing.
I dont wanna ruin your relationship.
Just like last time.
Just because i msg u a lot.
People get jealous and quarreled with you.
I really hated that.
Even though im hurt.
I still tried to help you.
Come on.

That time u stead with someone.
That was the worse time in my LIFE.
This time.
I really admit defeat already.
He's definitely better than me.
Irregardless of attitude and manners.
Too much things.
Hes better than me.

Memories flowed.
Every single relationship when u met a problem.
I was in the phone with you.
Solving problems.
Your tears drop and drop.
Always sad.
I just hope now you wouldnt have any problem.
Heh.

Hmm.
Heard that my whole class passed english.
Thats a relieve.
At least theres a load off my mind.
But theres still more man.
I got so many problems to think.
Now my head hurts.
My nose hurts.
Im sick alright.
So i definitelty looked abit restless.
I've to rest le.
Nights.
=)

Nlyg.<3

8:07 PM

Y Monday, October 17, 2005

A Very bad day today.
No comments.
So bloody sick.
When i woke up today.
My stomach hurt like mad.
Kept going to the toilet.
Non-Stop.
5hours.
I took 4 hours+ to win it.
By vomiting out all the things inside my stomach.
And partly due to my brain.
Im tired.
12 hours in 2 days.
Madd k.
I slept only 12 hours.
Got a bad headache too.
But thank god i rested for a while.
Or else i cant do any household chores man.
Broken to pieces.

Did my household chores.
Burning joss paper.
Lolz.
So tiring.
As my headache was serious.
It was worse.
I couldnt see things properly.
Bloody headache.
I felt that i almost fainted man.
=.="

After burning finish.
Changed clothes and was planning to collect my psp.
Thank god i still got my dad.
Or else i scaredd later i faint when i was on my way.
Cuz my headache makes me feel so giddy..
All my friends fly aeroplane sia.
All go play soccer.
But nevermind.
Tml den go watch.
=/

Hmm.
Two more days left.
Going back school.
With such a fearful mind.
Nevermind.
I shall not write about it.
Or else it will become like a sad post once again.
=/
Nights. =)

Nlyg.<3

11:16 PM

Y Saturday, October 15, 2005

Fear inside my heart.
Im afraid that i cant get promoted.
Very scared.
Wat is this.
Im trying my hard.
Hope I get a push.
Please.
=/
I did my best.

I dont want to lose my friends.
I want to be with you all.
I admit this year im worse than last year.
Things happen.
Feelings up and down.
What the hell.
Slacking too much in the first half year.
Although i've realised that it was all too late.
i still study.
I dont give up hope.
Pls.
=/
I dont wanna drop.

I've finally accept the fact that u all are couples already.
after today.
I really have to accept le.
Hand to hand.
=)
Romantic!
=/
I guess this may be it bah.
=/
hahaha.
Cycling cycling.
Nice.
Enjoyed being with u guys,.
Smile.
Nights.
Dont want to write so much.
Cuz things around me are happening.
=.=" Im so damn afraid.
Angry.
Happy.
Anxious.
Hais.

Nlyg.<3

2:45 PM

Y Sunday, October 09, 2005

Blogging for the last time for this week.
Mother gonna lock computer.
One week.
Finish everything.
End everything.
To me.
Im still so relaxed.
Tired.
I dont care much now.

Trying to cope myself.
Changed my blogskin back to the old one.
Since new one i can keep it first ba.
=)
A Maths is easy.
But im afraid of co-ordinate geo.
Stupid lahz.
I may skip that chapter.
No time to hesistate.
Tml Chinese and Ss Exams.
One straight week,.
7 Subjects all tested.
I canot afford to fail.
I screwed my english already.
Im afraid.
So afraid that i failed.
Sigh.

I dont know why.
I want to post happy things.
But all the things im posting.
Isnt happy at all.
I cant seemed to be happy.
Sick of this man.
I wanna be out of stress.
Its understandable for wad situation i face now.
I dont care much more now.
=/
Psychoing myself to study.
Tired.

Tripped.
Im back to the old me bah.
I dont wanna be xl.
Or wad.
Im sick of everything.
Nights.~

Nlyg.<3

4:56 PM

Y Thursday, October 06, 2005

Hahax.
Finally got da chance to use comp.
So decided to blog some things lor.
Since im not feeling good in the inside.
=(

Ever since exams coming.
I've been stressing myself to study.
I pushed myself to study.
Yet once and once.
I studied.
but not a lot.
When exams is tomorrow.
Real stress puts on u.
Heavy loads of pressure land on me.
I suddenly do not know what to do.
I couldn't react over things.
Im stress.
I admit.
because of English.
=(

My friends.
You all are my good friends.
I hated to see u all beating each other.
Fighting over a small matter.
I step out to help.
Salvage problems.
But cant u all think of my feelings.
Im being stressing myself.
Worrying wads gonna happen.
And u all dint even be thankful.
I know one had.
But the rest?
You all think its easy to settle things.
If u all were the one to settle.
Do u all have the ability.
Dammit lahz.
I cant put down all these instantly.
Dammit.
=(

Im not avoiding you.
Its really.
I cant blame anyone.
But fate.
You called me just when i just slept.
Everytime its lidat.
I dont know why.
I cant hear the ringtone.
Its loud.
But I cant.
Do you think i dont urge to talk to you.
I WANTED to talk to you so badly.
Nowadays i dont even dare to say anything.
Or even say HelL0.
2 days ago.
I didnt really sleep.
But.
Then I realise.
My handphone was off.
I can only ASSUME its fate.
I dont wannt say so much.
Hais.
If you think im avoiding you.
So be it le bahx.
Blame everything on me bahx.
I rather get all the blame kaes.
Nights.
Dinner time.
Im fat.
=.="

Nlyg.<3

7:09 PM